Break it down Mofo

Hello , I am a magician. Not your Crowley type sitting around with funny hats and chasing naked women around. Nor am I the type at kids parties spangling waist-coat type. More of a card trick type of magician.


The first trick (magicians get arsey and call them effects) was a terrible long drawn out affair, with four jacks being burglars. I can’t remember how to do it now, maybe for the best. But from there I learnt all types of magic ; mind reading Derren Brown style, making cards appear at my finger tips, dicking about with coins, napkins, a metal cup and a ball.


Then I found the esoteric world of the con man. I dedicated great swathes of time learning; dealing cards from the bottom of the deck, the second card of the deck, cutting the cards and keeping the deck in order, stacking while shuffling and even dealing the second card from the bottom. Most people in the magic world would tell you that these are difficult moves to pull off. And yes I did spend years learning them until I could do them.


I am not telling you this to show off , quite the opposite. I have rather small hands and stubby fingers so it took a while to learn.


The problem is all these hours of practise, I don’t enjoy showing these skills off. I use them as a meditation. It not really my thing to show my skills to the lay public and most magicians find the skill set boring.


But it does show that if you put time and effort in to something, you may become proficient. The easy way to do this is to break down each skill down. To it’s key parts.


I learnt to juggle, the prescribed way. To juggle you need one ball, you throw it hand to hand in an arc. Once you are comfortable with this you add a second ball, throw one ball then the second. Then you add a third ball. You break it all down and after awhile you are juggling. My brother decided steps one and two wasn’t juggling and took 3 balls. He did discover the law of gravity that day, but he didn’t learn to juggle.


So imagine if a problem you have, or obstacle to overcome, what then? Well you have the meta problem. That’s probably the nucleus of a lot of smaller problems. So if you work out the small things. The larger part don’t seem so daunting.


Things are only as difficult as we want them to be. If we manifest difficulty we end up with difficulty. After all you can spend 20 minutes moaning about something , or you could use that 20 minutes to overcome it.




Finding yourself….

Speaking to a friend of mine, she stated that she “Needed To find out what she is”

“Simple” was my reply “You are a woman”
“No, who am I?” Came her return serve.

“You’re you, now stop moaning and get on with it” I said.


This got me thinking, why do we spend so much time, searching for ourselves? When really we know who we are. We can improve ourselves, change ourselves in a number of ways. But what are we searching for, in ourself?


She then went on to talk about how she use to like a certain type of music and taking photos of cars. Again my answer was, well why don’t you do that now? She said she didn’t know.


If you have “lost your self” through not doing something you enjoy. Then why not just do it again? Or maybe it is because it is all about denial. Humans seem to be self destructive in many ways. Usually by ceasing to do the things we enjoy, listening to outers and thinking what others may think of us.


So if you are lost it seems easy enough to find your self doesn’t it? A lot of people will speak of a spiritual journey and other forms of Western mysticism, but they all ways seem to be on the journey and never arrive. Maybe because they over complicate it. Maybe they are “too intelligent” to find it straight away. And they need to tell you about XYZ, the yoga they took , the books they’ve read and the guru they ultimately allowed to open their mind in India. Nine times out ten that’s achieved by opening their legs.


After all it might sound great to say; I read ten thousands books, met a guru in India, you simply must go, I had a true spiritual awaking. Than saying “I found it, it was under the bed all along”. It might not give you a story, but it will save you a lot of time. So next time some one tells you that they have started a “Journey to find myself”. Ask have you looked under the bed?

You are not special

You’re not special , you may think you are but you are not. You may have a fancy car, nice house and a trophy wife. You may even have two wonderful kids and a pedigree dog. A lofty job title and money in the bank. On the other hand you might have fuck all, not a thing in your life there maybe any absence of money , friends or dogs. But either way you are not special.


Either end of the spectrum you are not special. You are normal. Because you either want to obtain all them riches or keep hold of them of them if you have them. So if everyone is after that, it becomes normal and therefore being normal is not being special.


You have been told you are special , unique or one in a million. But millions of you are told that every day of your life. Why are you special? What have you done that is special that no one else has done? You might have been the first to eat 25 doughnuts in 10 seconds but does that make you special?


Do you feel special? Do you feel that ; you can do it, no matter what? Or do you feel it’s all mundane and no matter how many times this gets reinforced . You are still depressed? Why should you be depressed? You got it all. The wife, the kids, car, house. Are you happy? Or do you just own things? You have all this, you have been told you are special but in fact you are normal.


How do you feel being normal rather than special? It doesn’t make sense does it? There is nothing wrong with being normal. That’s how we base the world . Even the eccentrics out there are not special they are just after what makes you normal, but using another medium to find it. They want money, they want to be noticed. So we are all normal.


What if I told you, you could be special and it’s easy. Stop wanting to be normal. And instead of that, look for what would make you happy. Don’t use possessions to guide your emotions, but find how to be happy with n your mind. A simple shift.


Most people chase money thinking that will lead to happiness , the thing the don’t realise is that money and happiness are not on the same track.

3 ball Zen

I like to juggle. I am not good at juggling and I can only juggle 3 balls , in a very basic pattern. But I like to juggle none the less. Juggling is a useless skill, for the most part, the idea of keeping 3 objects in the air doesn’t seem a useful skill at all.

Throwing 3 balls about may seem to others and maybe even you, a waste of time. I would agree it doesn’t achieve much. But it leads to a moment of connection. When you are throwing 3 balls up in to the air and catching each one there is a physical connection as well as mental connection.

There is a moment, a rhythm , a fading out of my surroundings and a thud of each ball as I catch it. This leads for me a me a Zen like moment. I am connected to everything and nothing at the same time. It is a strange concept to put in to words but that’s as best as I can describe it.

For this Zen moment I like to take at least 5 minutes of my day to connect. I get a sense of achievement and a mood bust all in one. Of course when I drop the balls I lose this connection, but I have got in to the moment enough to be “one” with what I am doing.

Now I am not going to tell you, juggle life will be great. It wont we both know that. But what I am saying is find you juggling. Be it , a performance art, martial arts, writing or anything else. Find that one thing, or two or even 3 that you can find your Zen moment in. Play with it and enjoy it. Then add a more difficult element to it and then you will find your moment again.

Do something you enjoy each day no matter how long your day as been. You are never too busy to improve yourself. Find that connection and take that buzz and use it for something you can channel it for.